Early on in my diagnosis, I knew I needed a way to stay grounded and make light of the heaviness.
I started informally keeping lists- about anything and everything related to cancer. One of my favorites is the funny things people say regarding cancer...
Upon hearing of my diagnosis:
“First off, CRAP!” (Agreed!)
“This is just a bunch of cells misbehaving. We’ve got this.” (This one made me giggle)
“God gave you the first pair, YOU get to pick the second!” (Well now, that’s sassy! )
“Oh my gosh, I’m going to throw up” (Gosh, that sounds terrible for you)
“I hope you feel better soon!” (From a kiddo who didn’t fully understand yet, but that made me laugh)
“You’ve had so many biopsies they may as well just take the boob” (yup, agreed!)
In the doctors office:
“I’m surprised you found the lump- Your breasts are pretty bumpy in general.” (Ummm,… thanks?)
“For the PET scan, we will now have you sit in a dark room for an hour. The radioactive tracer will be absorbed into the bloodstream. No distractions or light allowed.” (Cool, so I just got a cancer diagnosis and you’re going to leave me alone with my thoughts for an hour? Sounds great.)
“For this MRI, go ahead and put these ear plugs in.” (I put them in, and the MRI Tech continues to give me instructions that I now can’t hear. I take them out and giggle. He does not. Which of course makes me giggle more).
“So we think we’ve macguyvered the table such that it will work now and we can continue with your biopsy. Are you comfortable with this?” (Ummmmmm is there a hidden camera here? Seriously?)
