Having cancer and enduring treatment is a roller coaster. I’m currently between two phases (finished chemo and having surgery in two weeks) which means a few extra weeks to recover and reflect on the ups and downs so far.
Getting the cancer diagnosis is a major down. Obviously.
But then a big “up”- your friends and family rally and you’re reminded of how much love surrounds you. Real priorities in life become clear and obvious.
And then there are scans, updates and more anxiety. Down, down, down.
But you learn to not sweat the small stuff. A perspective shift; an up.
And then the chemo side effects. Ugh, such a downer.
But then you near the end of a treatment phase. Phew, a small up.
And on and on.
A week ago, I was stuck in a low point- I had finished my final chemo of this treatment phase- and I expected to be feeling better. But chemo effects are cumulative and by this point I just still wasn’t feeling myself. And the unknowns of surgery and subsequent treatment weighed heavy on my mind. I started to wonder if I’d ever feel normal again.
But here I am, one week later. I went for a walk this morning that turned into a run- which hasn’t happened since I started chemo 5 months ago. It felt great.
My body is healing. My spirit is healing. I’ll soak it up while I can, and remember this at the next curve of the roller coaster.
Mid-run; my first in 5 months. Baby steps.