I’m sitting in the sauna, trying to get comfortable. Yes, I have my phone with me. Because sometimes self/care looks like 432Hz Miracle Tones on Spotify while you manage your to-do list and reflect on your current situation. :-)
Current Situation: I’m cancer free, I’m in remission, and the Bell’s Palsy from nearly 5 months ago is probably 75% better. I’m eating healthier than ever, I no longer drink, I move & workout every day. I take a ton of supplements (debatable I know, more on that later). I have about 2 hours of other self-care I do each day to maintain my remission and help my facial recovery.
By no means am I sharing this to for a pat on the back. I’m merely mean it feels like hard work- but worth it. I’ve always been a physical person and my bodily wellbeing really impacts my mental, emotional and spiritual self. I’m nearly done with my active treatment (only two super easy chemo infusions left, woohoo!).
And I have been really looking forward to swimming and running and other endorphin-creating movements. I’ve been counting down the weeks from my most recent surgery.
But my newest ailment, joint pain, has thrown me for a loop. It’s a real doozy.
if you asked me a few months ago, I would’ve said I could handle a side effect like joint pain*. (Joint pain?!?! Whatever! No biggie! Just power through it!) But it is shockingly, annoyingly painful. And shockingly ever-present. And annoying to talk about.
Getting veggies out of the bottom drawer of the fridge? Ouch. Doing squats? It hurts AND I need to brace with my hands. Getting in and out of the car? WHAT THE HECK. (See? Annoying to listen to someone talk about.)
Let me also acknowledge that I know I’m lucky to be a cancer survivor and I’m lucky this is what I will deal with. AND it still sucks.
So now what? Well that's the question. It doesn't seem like there's a clear straightforward answer, other than not taking the medicine that prevents cancer recurrence and/or taking HRT which is considered contra-indicated for me. Bah. So I'm doing my research. I’m continuing to move. I'm trying some things. Let's see what I find.
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*The joint pain comes from two main sources- being slammed into menopause after chemo, and from taking aromatase inhibitors to prevent my body from incorporating any remaining estrogen-since my cancer was “estrogen receptor positive.”
A long walk to Fort Funston this weekend, in hopes that movement is therapeutic for these sad, silly joints.