Togetherness: In the Waiting Room

Coffee cups, glasses cases. Crumpled napkins and half-drunk water bottles. Comfy socks and books and... us. Here, together.

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I was just in Buffalo last week. Here to be with mom and dad and for the kids to get special time with them. When we landed home in SF, Oliver bawled. He loves his grandparents so fiercely. He loves them with the force of a million loves. He loves them so much that he secretly wrote this note the next morning en route to school:

“Grandma and Grandpa, I really miss playing all those games with you, and the nerf, and the cheese, and the movies, and the gym, and Sear, and Niagara On The Lake, and the brownies, and the snow, the banana bread, and going to buy stuff, and the snoball fight, and the thing for the sled, but most of all I miss...”

“... YOU. I love you GUYS A LOT! I love you, love Oli [sad face]” 

When we landed in SF I got the text from mom, “please call me when you can.” And I knew; the MRI results were bad. Dad had been more confused, losing words and conversation threads. They found another tumor and significant brain swelling. Surgery would be scheduled asap.

And so I’m back. Buffalo didn’t get any warmer in the last 5 days. But it’s warm here, in this space, with these people. My people. My brother in law said it well- my family knows how to rally. I couldn’t imagine it any other way; there’s no world in which I’m not here. So we’re here in togetherness, waiting.

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Watching her face is hard.  She nods, expression intent, neutral. We hang on every word, every mouth or eye movement, for a clue. “Ok,” she nods, “thank you.” She hangs up; all is well and they are nearing the end of his surgery. Mom is strong and fragile at the same time.

Meanwhile the emails keep coming in. Prayers and thoughts. Offers of support. The kindness of friends and family is overwhelming in the best way. 

And so we wait. In the Waiting Room. We drink our coffee, we remove our glasses to wipe a tear. We eat and share silly cat videos. We discuss topics like fear and belief. And we read; solitude in togetherness.

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Update: Dad’s surgery went well. He’s in recovery for the next few days. More waiting, but it’s grateful waiting.