Dear Universe,
I’m feeling a little “off.” Off from my goals, and off in my daily practice.
Physically, my body hurts. Sciatica is no joke. But I’m dealing with it through Advil and icy hot and mobility work.
Mentally, I’m maxed out. Work is a whirlwind. On top of a fast-paced January, my office is next to the bathroom and I’ve made it an inviting environment so I’m interrupted by friendly hellos from nearly everyone. The social side of me wants to engage (it’s so fun! Hi! What’s up?!) but the amount of toggling from focus work to interaction and back to focus is starting to take its toll. I know I need to set a boundary or structural change but haven’t yet.
Emotionally, I’m fatigued. Cancer survivorship is a process and it’s a constant in my life; constantly modifying medications and supplements, learning about emergent strategies and protocols to ensure remission, understanding my new whole food plant based diet, and taking the time for self-care (which is hard to prioritize even though it should come first. And during my medical leave I was able to take this time. How and what should be carried over to “normal life?”)
In a nutshell, I’ve already gotten off-track with my goals for 2026. I wrote them down at the end of December and have done nothing yet to put them into action. If I’m not careful, I feel I could easily slip back onto my previous pre-cancer life of high stress, and that’s something I learned during chemo that I can and want to control.
So today is the day. I’m revisiting my goals and taking the first step to get back in the saddle and “control my controllables.” I’m back to keeping my goals front of mind; 1) strengthen my remission, 2) curate more “brand Lara” (ie be my most “me”), 3) pursue joy, 4) practice life balance, and 5) improve my financial health.
And here’s how my daily practice will support this:
Physically, I am keeping my 5:30 am wake time but starting it with a short walk. This will help my back mobility, but also get my brain moving as well. I’m also recommitting to a 9pm bedtime. (I know, I’m ancient)
Mentally, using a few helpful mantras, I am reminding myself of my priorities, and separating urgent from important. And giving myself some stronger guardrails to ensure time to focus. I am the boss of me!
Emotionally, I am acknowledging that this phase of survivorship is best understood by other survivors. I’ve recently talked with two friends who also went through breast cancer and it was just so nice to commiserate and learn from each other. My instinct upon remission was to stop talking about cancer but I’m now understanding that this journey requires connection.
Here’s to a quick course correction in late January- and I’m proud of myself for noticing. Hopefully next week’s letter says I’m “on.”
Love,
Lara
One of my “extracurriculars” is serving on the board of Friends of the Urban Forest, a nonprofit that connects people with nature and each other by planting and caring for San Francisco’s street trees and sidewalk gardens. I’m delighted to be part of this organization, and my work here is aligned with two of my personal goals for 2026.