I have had a few pretty great days in a row.
In the past In the past week, I have created a survivorship decision-making tool for myself, have had two great doctor appointments at my follow up milestones, and have done a couple of strong workouts. The weather has been gorgeous with an oddly balmy breeze (as opposed to the usual brisk SF wind). And most importantly, I’m changing a medication that’s been causing me a lot of physical and emotional anguish. This week is on track, I thought!
And then I woke at my usual 5:15 this morning. And then woke again at 6:30. Acccckkkk! I hate oversleeping.
I’m groggy and rushing. Is there a better combo? I think not. Maybe I could spill some coffee on my white top just to round things out nicely. One can dream.
And my ever-present glute & back pain (side effects of current meds) feels worse today- more noticeable. Probably because of the aforementioned great workouts… or maybe today’s stress level.
And I now need to navigate a new medical question with my cancer care team. This will require the fine balance of advocacy and diplomacy- so I can get what I want and need without becoming an annoying patient.
But this is the roller coaster of Survivorship. You have to somehow maintain the capacity for high hopes, and celebrate the wins, but not set the bar too high or expect the streak to stick.
Come to think about it, it’s kind of like sleep training a baby. You get so excited when they sleep through the night and then you start to expect it and BAM it’s a 3am wake up.
Does that make survivorship a cute little baby that I love despite how much hard work it is? Weird metaphor, Lara.
Well, there we are. Tomorrow is a new day.
It’s so hard for me to like photos of myself these days. It’s more about finding photos I can tolerate. This one makes the cut, and only because as I look back on my progress of the last two years there’s not much to see- I’ve hated documenting it. Recovering from cancer and chemo and surgery and Bell’s palsy has been tough. But I’m setting the bar low and celebrating the successes when I can!