For months, I’ve been wrestling with a cancer-related conundrum.
(And of course, as soon as I wrote that sentence, i wondered- what’s the etymology of conundrum? I figure “con” comes from Latin or Greek for “against” or possibly “with.” And that it referred to a problem with differing aspects at the same time.)
Well, this piece has taken a surprising left turn because apparently while “conundrum” currently means a “generally puzzling or difficult, or even unanswerable question or situation” it actually doesn’t have serious etymological originals. It’s a 16th century insult with mock-Latin roots used to call someone a nerd! Ha! Love that. More on this topic at one of my favorite sites, Useless Etymology (link below).
But back to my puzzling or unanswerable situation. It’s basically a question about decision-making, and what is best for me in my survivorship journey.
I’ve been doing my research. Talking with doctors, health care providers, fellow survivors, my family (which includes more health care and a legal guru), and processing my dilemma with good friends. And I was starting to feel like I was getting somewhere- like I was working it out.
And then last Sunday, face down in an acupuncture appointment, a tangible solution came to me. I had been waiting for the ONE RIGHT ANSWER, from a medical expert. But I realized I had everything I needed, already. And that what I know is actually the most anyone can know, for me. And that’s it’s not about the one right answer but the NEXT BEST STEP.
Isn’t it wild that in one moment you can go from feeling stuck to feeling better and nothing has changed other than your mind?!
(And another sidenote, how many times do I have to learn the same idea- (that there’s no perfect decision and I have to take the next best step)- in the course of my cancer survivorship? That’s a rhetorical question, you don’t need to answer it. But let’s just say so far the answer is three. I need to learn it three times).
So, today I’m feeling so much better- emotionally and spiritually. My body still hurts in all the same ways, but I’ve remembered that I have all the levers in front of me. And that’s the difference between feeling stuck and feeling hopeful.
I may share my “thing” soon- a solution to my conundrum. In the meantime enjoy a recent photo of the GGB and a link to some Useless Etymology.
https://uselessetymology.com/2026/02/09/puzzling-out-the-etymology-of-conundrum/
A recent photo of the Golden Gate Bridge. This beach has been a constant in my survivorship journey.