There were a few mantras that got me through chemo. Whenever I felt down, and weak, and sad- I’d remind myself of what my coach, Keir, said during one of my training sessions.
“When you think about it, you’ve trained your whole life for this.” He reminded me that I had built physical and mental toughness through soccer, and running, and challenging myself in various other endeavors.
It was such a helpful and encouraging thing. I knew I could do it, and I knew I’d exhaust every avenue trying to beat cancer. There was a finish line, and I was built for finish lines. That’s what I took this to mean.
But survivorship is a doozy. There’s not really a finish line anymore. Sure there are variations- the medications I’m on that cause all sorts of pain and impact to my body- I’ll be done with them in 5-10 years. And the sciatica and piriformis syndrome might be helped by tomorrow’s cortisone shot. But the endocrine therapy-induced osteopenia has no finish line. The chemo-induced damage to my heart has no finish line. And the horrible joint pain from being slammed into abrupt menopause as no finish line.
So now I’m thinking about that mantra in a new way. “I’ve trained my whole life for this” means I know how to tap into grit and resilience. I know how to take a small win and celebrate it. And I know how to make the annoying stuff humorous or even fun. Thanks Keir- this idea is evergreen.
