I’ve been thinking a lot about my personal goals this month. It’s been one year of being in remission and I just had a birthday, so both are good points in time for reflection and self-assessment.
In general my goals for the past two years have been some version of 1) get to/stay in remission; 2) seek joy; 3) pursue niche learnings that interest me; and 4) take “risks.”
It’s this last one that I’m realizing is the big one for me. When I say “take risks” I don’t mean bungee jumping, I’m mean trying the things I’ve been saying I want to do, or move towards things that feel scary because they are unknown (and there a chance I might not succeed).
Whether I live for another 10 years or another 50 years, what I know at my deepest core is that I don’t want any regrets. And I really believe that famous saying is true- you are more likely to regret things you didn’t do, not things you tried but failed. (Versions of this are attributed to many people including Lucille Ball and Mark Twain)
When I think of the things I’d currently regret not trying, they aren’t actually very scary at all. There may be some vulnerability or uncertainty involved; I may or may not be good at it/succeed. (Gasp!) But I’ve kind of already hacked that worry- I just think about the process as my goal. One of my goals is to be fluent in French by 2030 (merde, now I’ve really put it out there…) and for me the hack is to give myself doing milestones (one tutor session + two French shows/podcasts each week) instead of being milestones (level A2, etc). This tricks my brain into making progress without becoming paralyzed by uncertainty. Now I just need to use this case as a model for other life goals.
Also, more often than not, any inaction towards a goal is a result of being on the treadmill of life. We are so busy doing what we do, and we fall prey to that belief that we’ll always have the metaphorical “tomorrows”. I have written before about this idea (Current Lara always thinks Future Lara will have more time and energy) and it turns out that this is an ACTUAL THING. It’s called the Planning Fallacy, and it’s a form of procrastination and time optimism (“tidsoptimism” for the word nerds out there) in which the brain mistakenly assume the future self will be more efficient and less stressed than the current self.
[Side note: that was very fun to learn and I feel a bit like a philosopher now.]
So in a nutshell- I know what I want to do. I have all the tools I need. I am excited by my goals. And I don’t want to waste this one precious life. So, it’s time for a new experiment. I’m going to use my French language process hack and try taking another “risk.” And the success will be in the doing.
“Non, je ne regrette rien,” as Édith Piaf said.
A week away from the treadmill of regular life generally produces good outcomes, including time to reflect on life goals.